This I Believe

I believe in making the best of what life gives you. I believe we’ve all had “trying times”, traumatic stories, and periods of depression. Some may have suffered more than others, but I believe, no matter the degree of these pivotal moments in our lives, we can overcome any obstacle just by being optimistic.

I was born and raised in Paterson, NJ until the age of five. This was the beginning of a series of moves throughout my life. It began with Paterson , then to Lodi , and Hardyston, ultimately leading me to West Virginia. I was 11 when my parents took me away from the only home I’d ever known. Sure the cities and towns had changed but the one constant in my life was about to change, and this devastated me.

I remember the day my parents sat my sisters and me down in the dining room and told us we were moving to West Virginia . All three of us burst into tears at once while our parents sat there. “We thought you’d be happy!” my father had yelled, not said. All I could think was “WHY! What on Earth would ever make you think we'd be happy about this! Why would you do this to us!!!” I couldn’t understand, I didn’t want to understand.

We moved the following August to be there in time for the new school year, and lived in a hotel for about two months while our house being finished. Two months of six people in a small hotel room only fueled my resentment. All I wanted was to go home, more than anything in the world. I wanted to be alone and miserable, as if this would make my parents give up and move back to New Jersey.

Deep down I knew that plan would never work. After a while, I got pretty sick of feeling lonely and started talking to more people. I got into a new rhythm, made new friends, new routines, I made a new life. I wouldn’t admit it then, but I loved West Virginia; I still love West Virginia. I loved the people I met and the wonderful life I had created once I let go of my self pity. By the time I was 15 I had fully assimilated into my new world and then it was time to move, again.

My mother had told me there was a possibility of us moving back to New Jersey early my freshmen year and by December it was set in stone that we'd be going back. I had never been so angry in my life. For weeks I stayed locked in my room with my music blaring to annoy my mother, and to make sure she knew how angry I was at her. I cried all the time; I didn't even want to hear the WORD New Jersey or anything relating to it.

If I could erase one year from my life it'd be my sophomore year of high school, my first year back in New Jersey. It was a repetition of my first year in West Virginia only much more advanced. I felt like it had been a lifetime since I was in NJ, everything I once knew had changed, and everything else I didn't know at all. I found myself alone and depressed again, I slept all the time, everyone annoyed me, I didn’t want to talk to people; I felt there was no point in trying because just when I got comfortable, I’d have to leave again.

Than, towards the end of the year I realized something: West Virginia was supposed to be the worst thing that could happen to me, instead it turned out being one of the best. It was the best because I made it that way, and I wasn’t going to let another move bring me down. Since then, I’ve joined clubs at school, I go to school events, I talk to classmates, I’m trying to make things better.

I can’t say that I feel at home here, but over time, West Virginia has become less of a home to me too. Regardless of where I end up in the future, though, I know I’ll be okay. I know this because I believe life is what we make it, so if I make it good, it will be good. I could have easily chosen to continue with my depression instead of trying to work with what I have. I believe in never losing your optimism in life, especially when that seems the easiest thing to do.